Kim Meyer's Blog Tour Q&A

As Granger Community Church’s Communications Director, Kem leads creative, information and technology teams to champion a clutter free, cohesive and unified experience across departments and campuses. While her faith is primary in her life and what drives her to achieve more, she doesn't believe in huddling inside church walls. She’s an advocate for applying these same principles and insights in businesses, schools, not-for-profits or any organization struggling to find ways to get the word out and, simply, do better.  Read her full biography here.

Kem,

What mistakes have you made in the past and how/what have you learned from them?

Wow, Curtis. You just went RIGHT THERE didn’t you? Where to begin … where to begin? Honestly, list is endless. So it probably makes sense for me to share a common mistake that we’re all prone to making. This will probably be my longest answer, so you win the prize for that!

I think we all have a tendency to “fill in the blanks” and make assumptions based on a snapshot. I’ve done it to others, and it’s been done to me. It’s particularly easy to do when someone’s actions don’t match up to what you’re used to in your own life. I’m thankful for the hard lessons I’ve learned in this area, because I jump to conclusions a lot less. I’m learning that the actions don’t tell the whole story, and I get the opportunity to dig deeper to learn about the story behind the person—behind the behavior. I’m better because of it and would miss out on SO MUCH that’s great in this world if I spent my days running away from, or fighting against, everything new and unknown.

The real boot camp experience for me came when my daughter hit turbulent times in adolescence. I’m convinced those times would have been a lot less turbulent if I hadn’t feared some of the new subcultures resonating with her (i.e., the punk scene). I reacted without taking the time to learn about them first. That season when she was 15-18 years old was enlightening in so many ways. I grew up as much as she did.

I read an article about Shepard Fairey, founder of OBEY Clothing. In it, he talks about his alternative journey and the assumptions that people made about his methods. The insights were helpful.

My whole mode of operation was very similar to skateboarding and punk rock, which was the idea that if the mainstream wasn’t picking up on what you were doing, create an alternative scene to the mainstream. My attitude was never ‘I want to be an isolated person and do my own thing in direct opposition to the mainstream’; it was more like ‘I need to be doing what I’m doing, and I need to figure out how to keep doing it by any means necessary.’ A lot of people think if you are into some sort of subculture or alternative culture that means you are anti-mainstream. My idea was always ‘Well, mainstream is kinda sucky a lot of times, but does it have to be?’ It would be cool to educate people about the stuff that I’m into. Sort of, enlighten the mainstream—raise the bar all across the board rather than having to feel like an outsider forever.

Geez, Louise. Is he right, or what? Too often, I have assumed the wrong motives in people. I defaulted to “if they don’t think like us, they must be anti-us.” A word to myself? Chill. To other people? Chill. To churches? Chill.

I think the big takeaway here is to let people color outside the lines. Every time I apply that principle I learn something new.

A lot of people struggle with this whole-heartedly believing it’s their holy responsibility to live “separate from the world” and fix the sin of anybody they come in contact with. But, here’s the thing…we’re responsible to people, not for them. This applies in every area of our life in every relationship.

I read something in Mark Waltz’s most recent book Lasting Impressions that talks about the difference between being to people versus being responsible for them. It’s been very helpful to me and I refer to it often. When I remember to apply this, it affects how I shape both my personal and corporate communication.

•        When I’m responsible to people, I understand they have a choice. When I’m responsible for people, I think I should decide for them.

•        When I’m responsible to people, I know they must figure out their next step. When I’m responsible for people, I try to tell them what their next step is.

•        When I’m responsible to people, I allow them to bear the brunt of the consequences for their own chosen actions. When I’m responsible for people, I assume the guilt, or worse the shame, for them.

•        When I’m responsible to people, I engage in their journey, offering encouragement and teaching. When I’m responsible for people I try to direct their journey, never allowing them to wrestle, mess up or make a wrong turn.

•        When I’m responsible to people, I talk to God on their behalf. When I’m responsible for people, I talk to people a lot on God’s behalf.

It’s incredibly freeing when we learn we don’t have all the answers and don’t have to operate like we do.

I big thank you to Kem Meyer for stopping by on her blog tour.  You can find out more about Kem by visiting her blog, or following her on twitter.

For a chance to win Kem's book Less Clutter. Less Noise. leave a comment and I will choose one lucky winner.